Friday, October 31, 2003


This Torture Inside

Do you live like you could fail
Or is your heart so caught up in fear of loss
That you throw the chance of life away
While you wait for the perfect moment to pass you by

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

Is this dream something that's real
Or has the hurt crept in to tell you its lies
And how there's nothing worth fighting for
While you wait for a silent illness to feed you truth

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

Will the pain begin to fall
Or has it lasted so long that you forget
How it feels to be alive for real
And you wait for the final moment before you die

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

(from TheyBlinked)

{when repentance follows just on the heels of loss; when desperation and the irreversible collide a staggeringly honest, brutal fetus of a person is delivered from the womb of selfish posturing screeching with lungs unaccustomed to life naked and exposed, wide-eyed and helpless in the divine insanity that is the afterbirth of being born again.}

(seen from The Lingering Lemon of Death)

cold stone seeps as i sit, chilling
morning sun embraces as i sit, warming
i inhale the incense of nothing, clear pure nothing
and the trees stand like columns

troy is singing
singing about the day that the sun didn't come on amelia island
i take a dead leaf in my hand and slowly reduce it to bits
random bits of yellow confetti at my feet

then, like a man who has been squatting, god shifts his weight slightly,
and the trees praise his movement with an offering
and we are undersea, in a golden ocean
as the leaves fall.

i'm bored, so i pick up a leaf again,
this one is yellow golden whatever, just like the last one,
but unlike, as i hold it, not brittle, smooth.
the stem offends me, i move to break it.

the squatting man leans over to whisper
"this is my body, broken for you"
and i hold in my hand the most beautiful leaf i have ever seen
i caress it, i give it all my love.

i want to hold the leaf forever,
but shelly thanks the squatting man for the leaves,
for the mana,
and i know this leaf is dying.

i stand up and drop the leaf,
inhale the incense of nothing, clear and pure,
and thank the squatting man,
for this moment, and for the next one.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Messy and Dangerous

Mike Yaconelli, the author of Dangerous Wonder and Messy Spirituality has died.

For more:

from TheyBlinked

from The Invisible Sun

from Siskiyou Daily News (seen via Jordon Cooper)

from Thunderstruck (referred via Eric from The Door Magazine Chat Closet under the thread Mike's passing)

(seen at TheyBlinked via joi ito)

I think you
should focus
on trying to find
cool things to do in
less crowded spaces.
Don't be worried because
there's no one there yet

(from this post at joi ito)

(seen at Jordon Cooper in this post)

As long as there is greed in the world, someone will find a resource to exploit.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Chaos comes from choice, whether you like it or not.

Monday, October 27, 2003

(seen at scratched surface)

I do not pity the lost
as such.
such things must be-

beyond the realm of given sins
withoutt sacrifice-
set free.

while being forgiven is
being given permission
to enter a new pattern

(seen from Pooing in the Woods)

Everybody has their own thing going on. That's pretty astounding, when you think about it. There are 6 billion people, roughly, so that means there are 6 billion different lives and motivations and dreams and you name it.

(seen at the reality-now weblog)

Maintaining security. The striving to maintain this is something that stops me from doing more things than I can think of. It imprisons me in more ways than anything else I believe. It keeps me doing things that bring no life to me. And stirs up fear and doubt on a regular basis. In my life, nothing has paralyzed me more than the perceived need to maintain security. And yet, the whole world shouts at us to have it before we try anything else. The moment we have a desire to do or not do a certain thing, we are hit with the question "What if.....?" (i.e. What if you ran out of money? What if your lost your job? What if you got into a car accident? What if you got cancer? What if they reject you?) We are always encouraged to make sure we have a safety net before we do anything. To not do so would be dangerous. I have a feeling that many people, including myself, spend most of their life seeking to keep themselves as secure as possible. And spend a lot of time doing so always a bit fearful that if they don't, something bad will happen to them. The problem is the "what ifs" never end. No matter what I do, there is always a "what if" to stir up fear in me, to cause me to hesitate, to not follow through with what is on my heart. Most people will tell me that this is just being responsible and using my God-given mind. Yet, if this is so good, why is its main instrument fear and doubt? How is it that something so "good" and so "responsible" speaks such death to me? Maintaining security has become a law unto me.

(seen at The Invisible Sun)

Some days it just hits me that life seems so random; then it's hard to listen to people talk about simplicity. We so often talk as if we know about simplicity and have life figured out (even a little bit), but there is so much that we don't know - so much mystery - that we seem to want to skip that and go right to the conclusion, not doing the work of slugging through the complexity of life.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Friday, October 24, 2003

(since the civic election is done and the provincial election is on it's way...)

What I see in current politics is that platforms attempt to appeal to the selfish side of individuals. My take is that a main deciding factor is what can that person do for ME, not who would be best to lead us in a morally positive direction. It seems that so many politicians build their campaigns on offerings to this materialistic, selfish side of humanity in hopes that they will "bite". I know I may be asking a lot, but if we were to vote for the person that had the city's, province's or country's best in mind, rather than the individual's best, would these places be better places to live? I don't know. But I do know that we need to more often consider our neighbor who lives beside us, than ourselves. I truly believe that the farther we can look outside ourselves, the closer we become to those immediately around us.

(from troyshantz )

Thursday, October 23, 2003


(seen at CruxBiscuit!)

(seen at TheyBlinked)

One good example is worth a thousand theories."

-Lawrence Summers
President, Harvard University

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

(seen at The Invisible Sun)

(picture originally at Small Ritual)

(from TheyBlinked)

A rebellion cast forth in terms of group-style seems the vampirous murder of true rebellion. Brands of rebellion do nothing but give people safe ways to be different in similar ways.

Rebellion is always already a risk for something. There seems little risk and even less purpose in so much that passes as rebellion in this moment.

(from pentemom's comment to this post by Le Sabot Post-Moderne)

Here's a stab: the slippery slope can have the brakes put on at the point where people agree that X does not necessarily imply that X' follows, and where that's a logical position and not merely wishful thinking...

The Pandora's box is when the arguments against going all the way down have been removed by the people by the people who want to take the first step down the slope.

(from cre8d design journal and discussed here)

When does 'innocent until proven guilty' apply? When shouldn't it?

Are you ok with people being locked away without being charged and found guilty?

Are you ok with people not having the right to defend themselves against claims/charges -- and not even know what those claims/charges are?

Monday, October 20, 2003

(seen at my four walls)

We need attempts. We need failures upon failures and the tough nature that is frightened by nothing, that holds firm and endures and starts over and over again until it succeeds, until we are through, until we are unconquerable. Whoever does not take upon himself the danger of defeat, of loneliness, of setbacks, will never attain victory.

We want to create from the heart, and then we want, if must be, to suffer shipwreck and bear defeat until we have the victory and land is sighted.
by Gustav Landauer

Saturday, October 18, 2003

...even though I haven't seen The Door Magazine(formerly The Wittenberg Door) in in Saskatoon yet...

Lampooned Again

Friday, October 17, 2003

(seen at

Sick and Wasted

Sick and wasted
Energy drained
A bitter taste clams my mouth
as thoughts of helplessness cloud my judgement

A rest is in order
A peace must be found
Disillusionment must be overcome
as growing tests of character cross my walk

Change must be done
Again from inside
There's no use fighting an outward battle
as a battle still rages inside

(seen at Knowtown)

"We must not be afraid to dream the seemingly impossible if we want the seemingly impossible to become a reality."
Vaclav Havel

Thursday, October 16, 2003

(seen at TheyBlinked)

Terror is a tactic. A new definition must be created for what is happening in the world at this moment if we are not to simply spiral further down the abyss of crusade vs. crusade.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

(seen at Land of the Free? via Jordon, Wendy and Dan)

There are millions of us out there with these stories. We are wanderers, and yet despite our identity as global nomads, people always want to have the permission to nail us down to what we “really are”. Does my lifestyle strip me of the right to call myself “German” I ask?

Amin Maalouf (In The Name of Identity: Violence and the Need to Belong) has called this a highly parochial and dangerous view of humanity. Anyone who claims a more complex identity than what a particular group is accustomed to is marginalized and this is done not just by the average fanatic or xenophobe but, in fact, rather, "because of habits of thought and expression deeply rooted in us all; because of a narrow, exclusive, bigoted, simplistic attitude that reduces identity in all its many aspects to one single affiliation, and one that is proclaimed in anger."

And where that anger has led us, in our world, is only too painfully evident.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Remember your enemies and tragedies-- they remind us how easy it is to settle down or wander away.

Monday, October 13, 2003

[What part of you is here today?]

Parts of me:

Thanks to those at the Worship Freehouse for the ambient silence.

Thanks to the The Door Magazine (formerly the Wittenberg Door) for helping me laugh and think...usuallly together.

Thanks to The Door Magazine's Chat Closet (and all who are there) for helping me get over myself.

And of course, you...the readers for tolerating or absorbing anything I post.

Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving!

It's very difficult to give thanks when no one else is giving.

Death conquers all, yet love needs all.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

(seen at Searching for a path into the darkness )

The past...where problems are seen clearly, where hope was banished. Where it seemed that the finger was pointed at me.The past... Where loneliness stalks, and the dream of companionship prowls like a inky black leopard. That black leopard stalks today, gnawing at my armor, trying to break in and destroy my heart. Lord Help.

The waves crash in the tide rolls out...but there is no doubt..that the light house will keep shining out to warn a lonely sailor...the lightning strikes. and wind cuts cold to the sailors bones through the sailors soul till there is nothing left to hold except a rolling ocean.

I am ready for the storm
Rich Mullens

Friday, October 10, 2003

(seen at signposts in this post)

While some struggle to provide for their families, others are caught in the grip of rampant consumerism. Concern for others briefly appears at the flashpoint of catastrophe and terror - but quickly recedes. Witness the reluctance of political agendas to advocate spending budget surpluses to fund our hospitals and schools and public utilities. The reason? It is believed this would not be supported by the electorate.

from The challenge for all Anglicans

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Choice or necessity is determined by enforcement.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

(seen at Mike Todd at a post here)

The rule of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth cannot sustain itself forever; ultimately both parties end up blind and toothless

Supposedly Been There...Still There was activated by something I said. Find out what here.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

(seen from Cube Reflections)

My compass is my heart, though it matters not. For I sail uncharted waters.

The question is not where I sail, the question is why do I sail? For freedom. I want to be free, free of mind, free of soul, free of thought. Thought is the sail that propels my ship.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Does helping the human condition require annihilating humanity or eliminating conditions?

Saturday, October 04, 2003

True silence is the median between incessant chatter and endless work.

Friday, October 03, 2003


(seen at Reflections of an Urban Pickle)

Poor hermeneutics and dogmatic interpretation of scriptures seem to be at the source of ruined families, civil wars, and broken community. So how can I ensure that I am not fostering this narrow-mindedness? More importantly, can I be open and willing to changing my views without trading my faith and values as many staunch conservatives would argue? I hope the answer is ‘yes’.

Talk is cheap and easy, while action is costly and difficult.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

(seen at Random Segues)

Knowledge and pride seem to walk hand in hand. It is natural for both persons to become more interested in proving their point than discovering truth.

(seen at TheyBlinked)

If your opponent has a conscience, then follow Gandhi and nonviolence.
But if your enemy has no conscience like Hitler, then follow Bonhoeffer.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.