Received In Full

This is Joe Bob "The Exegete" Briggs with a special Valentine’s Day edition of our online Bible study, and we're going into one of my favorite areas—King Solomon's sex life.

One thousand women.

Please let this sink in for a minute.

One thousand legal women. Because, when you're the King of Israel, there's no such thing as jailbait, and there's no such thing as bigamy, and there's no such thing as having too many women in bed at the same time.

I like the way he puts it here: His eyes desired something, he just took it. He trusted his eyes.

Now. Any guy past the age of about, oh, 19, knows what happens when you trust your eyes. One day you wake up next to Miss Supermodel-On-The-Outside and discover that she's really Miss Demonic-Gargoyle-On-The-Inside. But the amazing thing about most of us is that we continue to go skulking around after supermodels, instead of doing the sensible thing and maybe asking a few questions, like, "Do you ever take a picture of your boyfriend, paint a pentagram around it, set it on fire, and chant 'You're a loser!' before you go to bed at night?"

One thousand women is a good solid number, though. That's about how many it takes to get to the point where you say, "Aha! We males want one thing, but maybe they want something else!" {continue...}

[via The Wittenburg Door]