What do you give people who have everything? Blood...especially when they least expect it!

Gaining Perspective

Some celebrations can bring major challenges. Hopefully these books might be useful for you (or someone else). (Share them with others, too.)

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Family Frustrations
For every holiday, wedding, funeral, or birth of a child, families gather for what are supposed to be times of celebration or remembrance. But often these gatherings create more stress and conflict than joy and connection. When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People speaks to those who look forward to family gatherings but also dread being around certain relatives. [from the inside flap]
Felder's tips are practical as he offers specific suggestions on what to say, but what makes his approach so helpful is his assumption that there is no perfect resolution; instead, readers should aim for a middle ground. This is an excellent book for anyone looking for fewer arguments and less tension around family members. [from a review by Publisher's Weekly]

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Growth and Transition
Overall, this is a book that offers an abundance of insights without faltering into self-help clichés or specific how-to advice. Instead, Bridges examines the events that bring about transition (marriage, death, change of vocation, tragedy, and crisis) and why it's so important to fully experience these transitions and how they offer opportunities for closure as well as launch pads for enormous personal growth. Readers of The Way of Transition will find an author who manages to be humble, accessible, and highly intelligent as he weaves the writings of Tolstoy, Herman Hesse, Emily Dickinson, Carl Jung, and Anäaut;is Nin into his personal reflections. [from a review by Amazon.com]

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The Glut of Gifts
An insightful look at the misplaced faith we place in things, and meaningful advice on achieving material and emotional well-being. "Getting what you want" today is increasingly linked to buying something. But is the purchase always enough? Picking up where "simplifying" may not satisfy, Dematerializing acknowledges the pleasures, along with the pitfalls, of living in a material world. With a sharp reporter's eye and a wry sensibility, Jane Hammerslough encourages readers to explore how a consumption-crazed culture affects their own relationships with objects. [from book description at Amazon.com]

(seen at Random Segues)

..., perhaps we should give gifts to people who cannot return the favor.

I am not saying that we should never give our friends or family members gifts. But maybe it would be more of a gift if we gave it to them at unexpected times throughout the year, when they do not have the opportunity to turn it into an exchange.

(seen at In-Trud-ers Mind in this post, referred by tahoe :: pilgrim)

Consider these three scenarios:

Scenario #1: People are busy. It is a modern day sin to inconvenience someone. It will inconvenience someone if I ask someone to help me. Therefore, I do projects myself and do not ask anyone to help me.

Scenario #2: People are busy. It is a modern day sin to inconvenience someone. If I drop by unannounced at someone’s home, that person might be in the middle of something. That would be an inconvenience. But if I schedule some time to meet with this person, this might be a burden and an inconvenience because I know how busy this person is. Therefore, I never get together with anyone.

Scenario #3: People are busy and have their own financial worries. It is a modern day sin to inconvenience someone. I am dealing with this financial burden, but I cannot ask anyone for help because that would inconvenience them and they might think I am a dolt for not managing my finances better. Besides, charity is for people who are down and out not for us regular middle class types who have access to credit. Therefore, I accumulate a massive amount of personal debt rather than letting people know I have a financial need.

The only love and care we accept willingly is the kind we know we can reciprocate. You give me a Christmas present, therefore I give you one. Never would we want to be beholden to someone.

The sum total of these responses, made little by little over time, is that we never connect to anyone meaningfully. If we never have any true needs, no one can ever minister to us.

(a poem I wrote today)

Serendipity

Upset by doubts that scapegoat
Like an angry mob yearning
To torch my sins at the stake

...smouldering ruins
Left behind on an altar
Like a sacrifice nobody wants
After being burnt through and through

...just neglected,
Never quite welcome anywhere,
Like a fugitive forced to roam
As an easy life has gone

...purged,
Vulnerable to any enemy
Like accidents have audiences
Relieved they're not the victim

...so seductive,
Exposed to opportunities
Like charisma tends to grab
Until a stalker hits the target

...unexpectedly
Humbled without mercy,
Like a disaster giving up
A generous dose of crisis

...overwhelming,
All in the face of transition,
Like a hidden talent finds
Revealed within a hopeless cause

...dwelling here,
Faithful through a constant struggle
Like kisses of affection
Brings out the best in some

...returning again!

(seen at Been There...Still there)

Pain is what I walk through.
Misery is what I sit in.

--anonymous

(seen in The Door Magazine from the Last Word called "Surprised by Joy")

Blessed are the poor and the powerless? Apparently so.

This would explain why my intuition about using my cane was dead wrong. Why my expectations about tomorrow always set me up for disappointment. Why imagining some possible good event in the future robs me of the pleasure when or if it ever arrives. Why worry is stupid. And why thinking about myself in any respect always leads to despair.

There is More...

(seen at bloggedy blog in this post)

Fame, fortune, really great sex -- maybe those'll cure all your ills. But beautiful famous people with loads of money are just as confused and miserable as anyone else. Spend your whole life chasing after wealth and power and you end up with nothing more to show for it than bleeding ulcers and a heart condition. You can master tantric yogic poly-orgasmic Wonder Sex but you're still gonna die alone. There has to be something more.

--Brad Warner

Peace be with you!

(seen at sacra doctrina in this post about a poem in this book)

He who's heart is pure, sleeps. And he who sleeps has a pure heart.
This is the great secret to being as infatigable as a child.
To have that strength in your legs that a child has.
Those new legs, those new souls
And to start over every morning, always new,
Like the young, like the new
Hope.

--Charles Péguy

Tough to be Generous

(seen at Jordon Cooper in this post)

We are among the most educated consumers in the entire world. We know the meat packers that supply McDonald's treat their workers unethically (Fast Food Nation) yet we continue to eat there. We see article after article on Wal-Mart hurting its suppliers and treating their employees poorly but don't even think twice about shopping there because we get a good deal. A national chain in Saskatoon is known for firing employees who are there long enough to get a certain salary because they can. It has been talked about on the local news and paper but its parking lot is as full as it ever has been. We all read No Logo but chalk it up to interesting as we go on our way to purchase what we want.

We may be the smartest consumers but do we care anymore than any other one? I don't think so.