(from Clay.HumanClay.ca)

This Torture Inside

Do you live like you could fail
Or is your heart so caught up in fear of loss
That you throw the chance of life away
While you wait for the perfect moment to pass you by

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

Is this dream something that's real
Or has the hurt crept in to tell you its lies
And how there's nothing worth fighting for
While you wait for a silent illness to feed you truth

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

Will the pain begin to fall
Or has it lasted so long that you forget
How it feels to be alive for real
And you wait for the final moment before you die

This torture inside
Only feeds the pain
I know it's not real
It loves to complain
Distractions amuck
Force incredible distress
And with every defeat
I still fear its next success

(from TheyBlinked)

{when repentance follows just on the heels of loss; when desperation and the irreversible collide a staggeringly honest, brutal fetus of a person is delivered from the womb of selfish posturing screeching with lungs unaccustomed to life naked and exposed, wide-eyed and helpless in the divine insanity that is the afterbirth of being born again.}

(seen from The Lingering Lemon of Death)

cold stone seeps as i sit, chilling
morning sun embraces as i sit, warming
i inhale the incense of nothing, clear pure nothing
and the trees stand like columns

troy is singing
singing about the day that the sun didn't come on amelia island
i take a dead leaf in my hand and slowly reduce it to bits
random bits of yellow confetti at my feet

then, like a man who has been squatting, god shifts his weight slightly,
and the trees praise his movement with an offering
and we are undersea, in a golden ocean
as the leaves fall.

i'm bored, so i pick up a leaf again,
this one is yellow golden whatever, just like the last one,
but unlike, as i hold it, not brittle, smooth.
the stem offends me, i move to break it.

the squatting man leans over to whisper
"this is my body, broken for you"
and i hold in my hand the most beautiful leaf i have ever seen
i caress it, i give it all my love.

i want to hold the leaf forever,
but shelly thanks the squatting man for the leaves,
for the mana,
and i know this leaf is dying.

i stand up and drop the leaf,
inhale the incense of nothing, clear and pure,
and thank the squatting man,
for this moment, and for the next one.

Messy and Dangerous

Mike Yaconelli, the author of Dangerous Wonder and Messy Spirituality has died.

For more:

from TheyBlinked

from The Invisible Sun

from Siskiyou Daily News (seen via Jordon Cooper)

from Thunderstruck (referred via Eric from The Door Magazine Chat Closet under the thread Mike's passing)

(seen at TheyBlinked via joi ito)

I think you
should focus
on trying to find
cool things to do in
less crowded spaces.
Don't be worried because
there's no one there yet

(from this post at joi ito)

(seen at Jordon Cooper in this post)

As long as there is greed in the world, someone will find a resource to exploit.

Chaos comes from choice, whether you like it or not.

(seen at scratched surface)

I do not pity the lost
as such.
such things must be-

beyond the realm of given sins
withoutt sacrifice-
set free.

while being forgiven is
being given permission
to enter a new pattern
found.

(seen from Pooing in the Woods)

Everybody has their own thing going on. That's pretty astounding, when you think about it. There are 6 billion people, roughly, so that means there are 6 billion different lives and motivations and dreams and you name it.

(seen at the reality-now weblog)

Maintaining security. The striving to maintain this is something that stops me from doing more things than I can think of. It imprisons me in more ways than anything else I believe. It keeps me doing things that bring no life to me. And stirs up fear and doubt on a regular basis. In my life, nothing has paralyzed me more than the perceived need to maintain security. And yet, the whole world shouts at us to have it before we try anything else. The moment we have a desire to do or not do a certain thing, we are hit with the question "What if.....?" (i.e. What if you ran out of money? What if your lost your job? What if you got into a car accident? What if you got cancer? What if they reject you?) We are always encouraged to make sure we have a safety net before we do anything. To not do so would be dangerous. I have a feeling that many people, including myself, spend most of their life seeking to keep themselves as secure as possible. And spend a lot of time doing so always a bit fearful that if they don't, something bad will happen to them. The problem is the "what ifs" never end. No matter what I do, there is always a "what if" to stir up fear in me, to cause me to hesitate, to not follow through with what is on my heart. Most people will tell me that this is just being responsible and using my God-given mind. Yet, if this is so good, why is its main instrument fear and doubt? How is it that something so "good" and so "responsible" speaks such death to me? Maintaining security has become a law unto me.