The God of Warm Fuzzies
(Originally inspired by a link mentioned by Josh Sargent)
Image from Jesus Beanie
Originally posted by Joi in The Door Magazine Chat Closet
ARGH!!!!!!
First of all, don't you think Jesus might give more than 25% to charities?
Secondly, isn't this perilously close to idolatry, at least for a lot of people?
"Jesus Beanies are developed and distributed with the hope of creating a toy that will have greater meaning in a young child’s life."
Oh, so your child gets his meaning in life FROM AN 8 DOLLAR TOY???????
Holy schamoley, what kind of parents are these?
"The idea was born from watching our own children interact with Teddy Bears and other stuffed animals. So we asked ourselves if there was a way we could transfer that young child’s quest for comfort to a source they wouldn’t outgrow."
Ah, so Jesus is on par with teddy bears now, eh? And they're not going to outgrow this?
That's a scary thought. I can just see pastors twenty years from now being unable to preach a sermon without their tattered old Jesus Beanie on the pulpit in front of them.
"In addition to being great friends and warm comfort to our children, Jesus Beanies also have other beneficial applications."
Ah, so instead of salvation and freedom we get friendship and warm comfort.
The God of Warm Fuzzies.
"Though the creativity of our customers has been endless, here are some uses that we’ve already heard about since our introduction in December 2001:
• Fundraisers for Churches and other Religious Causes;"
Ah, so now we can sell Jesus! Keep an eye out for the soon-to-be-released Christ-in-a-Can! Be sure to get this season's colors!
"• Teaching tools for Sunday School and related Bible Educational Programs;"
So, we can't teach them about the real, rather controversial Jesus, just the nice comfortable stuffed toy version. Just what we need for raising a generation of even wimpier Christians.
"• Christmas Ornaments as Reminder of the True Meaning;"
Uh.....so you're BUYING a Jesus doll to remind you that the season's not about buying
things? Yeah, THAT makes sense....
"• Car Back Window and Motorcycle Displays of our Faith;"
Ah yes, the old "God is my co-pilot" sort of thing.
"• And of course Gifts for Birthdays, First Communion and other Special Occasions."
Ah, now we start handing Jesus Christ out like any other cheap trinket people
buy for those occaisions.
"And during that difficult time we’ve all endured since September 11th, many parents have comforted their children with a Jesus Beanie just to reassure them that there is indeed Power and Love through Jesus."
How about giving the love to the kids yourselves, parents? Trust me, they don't need more THINGS. Things are not comforting. They need love from a PERSON!
" Some people have contacted us with the intention of acquiring the Jesus Beanies in lots of 25 or greater. CPR Marketing will make special discount allowances for orders of 25 or more."
Indulgences sold seperately.
"Jesus Beanies have been a project of ours since 1999. At the time there was much talk about the new millennium and the media had begun to discuss what the new century would be like. Much of this talk centered upon a continuing breakdown in morals and values among the day’s youth. This was spurred by school shootings, gang warfare, rising drug abuse and even cases where young children had murdered friends, family and neighborhood kids -- just for fun. We thought that maybe it was time to introduce children to a better way, much earlier."
So....selling an $8 toy is going to reduce violence and turn the culture around?
"The concept of the Jesus Beanie was born from watching our own children play with popular bean bag toys. They knew all about each one, had even memorized their tags. So we began to ask them about the 10 commandments, characters of the bible, and the 12 apostles. Much to our dismay, they remembered little. We hope Jesus Beanies and future introductions will become teaching tools to guide young children and spur their interest in a better way of interacting with others, a better way of seeing themselves, and in a better way of life."
Um, ,the kids know these things because all kids memorize inane bits of trivia.
And giving them a doll is going to help them learn the Bible? You'd have better luck
with a Teddy Ruxpin that read the Bible to them!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry! Isn't Jesus trivialised enough as it is?? Now He's a Beanie Baby!
*stomps around room for a while, fuming*
There. That was incredibly cathartic.
Posts
