"And who would I turn them towards?"

[in the comments to this post at GetReligion]

Larry: Welcome. With the Gulf Coast regions Louisiana and Mississippi reeling from the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina, our guest tonight has been very busy. He’s been a household name for many years, is the author of several best selling books, and is an expert in theology. Jesus Christ, welcome to the program.

Jesus: Thanks, Larry, good to be here.

Larry: Jesus, let’s get right to the hardest question of all. Did you send this hurricane to create death and destruction? Some on the American Left seem to think this is retribution for the war in Iraq. The Right is claiming it’s a condemnation of Hollywood values.

Jesus: Larry, thanks for giving me the chance to answer that question. No, I had nothing to do with it. I’m still working straight out trying to deal with last year’s tsunami, and I’m spending a lot of time in Africa these days too, and frankly, I just don’t do those kind of things.

Larry: Send hurricanes, you mean.

Jesus: Yeah. I’m never physically *in* the hurricane, moving it around like it’s some kind of airplane. I’m in the face of the rescue workers, and in the hearts of those who pray to me for guidance as they face homelessness and loss. Out of the south may cometh the whirlwind (Job 37:9), but it wasn’t my doing. I’m the still, small voice after the wind, not the wind itself. (1 Kings 19:11)

Larry: But could you have turned this around if you had wanted to?

Jesus: No, it doesn’t work that way.

Larry: So Pat Robertson’s claim that he turned a hurricane around with prayer a few years back wasn’t a true statement?

Jesus: I don’t want to get into Pat Robertson’s statements right now, Larry. That whole assassination thing has kind of got me worked up.

Larry: So you condemn his comments about wanting the U.S. government to assassinate Hugo Chavez?

Jesus: Unreservedly. But back to the whole “turning around the storm thing,” it didn’t happen. I don’t know where he gets this stuff. I’d be turning around storms all the time. And who would I turn them towards? What if two folks in different directions are praying and I have to decide which one to turn it on? No, I’m not getting into that whole mess.

Larry: Okay. We’ll be right back with more with Jesus. And later in the program, and update on the search for Natalee Holloway. You know anything about that, Jesus?

Jesus: I’m not going there, Larry.

[by Stephen A.]