Will He Relax Now?

TORONTO (SBP) -- According to party insiders, Conservative leader Stephen Harper will be undergoing physical therapy for his face immediately after the election on January 23, 2006. The normally stone-faced Harper has severly exhausted the 12 facial muscles it takes to create a zygomatic smile and will be requiring several weeks of rehabilitation once all the ballots are counted and he delivers his acceptance or consolation speech.

"The election campaign has been a real strain on Mr. Harper," said a Conservative media consultant, "When the campaign first started, we told him to smile and he said he would try but, no promises. We knew it was going to be a battle from the very beginning."

The severly atrophied smiling muscles in Harper's face have endured a relentless workout of at least 50-60 repetitions per day in front of media scrums, photo ops, and personal time in front of the mirror to perfect a natural looking smile. Such activity for novice smilers are not recommended under normal circumstances and should have required a doctor's supervision before the workouts proceeded. However, these were not normal circumstances.

[via Saskabush]