Flawed Post, Flawed Testimony

So, here is how I think that Mark should have worded his advice TO men about their marital relationship. I won't pretend to be a martyr and take one for the team on this one.

"Men, how is your relationship with your wife? Are you attentive to her or have you neglected her and put her last on your list of people who need you? Are you giving her the better part of yourself? Does she feel lonely and neglected? Is she starting to exhibit addictive behaviors like over eating, smoking, drinking, watching too much TV or the like? Has she tried to talk to you and you rebuffed her with an accusation of being a "nag" or "too demanding"? How is your sex life? If it is suffering, look in the mirror. You, as the man, must take responsibility in this. A woman doesn't have a problem with wanting to have sex when she feels loved, cared for, appreciated and made a priority. Is sex enjoyable for your wife? Does she get pleasure from it or does she do it out of duty? Maybe your technique is lacking? She may enjoy sex more if you would commit to being the kind of lover that Solomon was in the Song of Songs. Are you a "wham, bam, thank-you maam" type of lover? Or are you gentle, considerate, wanting to please? Do you approach sex with the attitude of thinking that it is something that you deserve and it is something for your pleasure? Or do you have the attitude that sex is all about pleasing your wife? 1 Corinthians 7 tells us that intimacy is important in our marriages. Too many women are being neglected and then expected to perform like women we see in the movies or women we have seen in porn. Men, you cannot allow your ideas about sex to be defined by this culture and this world. We cannot afford to be selfish in our approach to sex and we cannot afford to neglect our wives. After all, if we cultivate our gardens, will they not bear delicious fruit?

Men, marriage reflects Christ and His love for the Church. Christ is not selfish and He is not a clod. He is a thoughtful, sensitive, doting lover of our soul. Shouldn't we strive to reflect His love to the lost and dying world? I believe that men are the ones who initiate and women are responders. We see this in the Church and how God set up these gender distinctions to show the world something of Himself. Christ initiates and we respond. Right?

If your woman is not responding to you, then you need to take a good look in the mirror. You are the one responsible for your marriage as the head of your home. If your wife is being sinful and neglecting you in spite of you being a good husband, then go find help. Your marriage depends upon it. "

This is how pastoral advice to men should look like. This is how it should sound....

Part of being a mature male is taking responsibility. It isn't feminism that is the problem in our churches. It is the lack of accountable and responsible men. I will take one for the team on that statement.

[via The Pineapple Pundit, emphasis mine]